the dreaming tree

if music is an art and should be ideal and perfect, then dave matthews band or dmb is the epitome of that. the voice, the lyrics, the musicians, the improvisation, the arrangements... to the note perfection. how many singer or band sounds better live than in the studio? how many singer dare to do a "two acoustic guitars" only kind of unplugged concert and still sound amazingly complete? well... thats dave matthew.

we listen to dmb everyday, everytime and never get bored with it. to say that we are dmb fan is understated cos we consider ourselves a dmb freak... and to confirm that believe is something that we found on the net. below are excerpt from a long list:

• you refer to anybody in the band on a first name basis, people give you weird looks, then you explain.
• your friends advise you to play no dave matthews band when they come around.
• when you are drunk or stoned you explain the meaning behind most or every dmb song.
• when you hear elevator music that is transformed into dmb songs (in your mind) and you sing along and tell other people on board "this is my favorite band".
• you look up for lyrics to all the songs or listen to all the songs over and over to make sure you know all the words to every single song.
• you quote dmb lyrics in regular conversation even in text messages and make up 'dave lyrics game'.
• your friend asks you to burn your dmb cds for them and they need a new cd case to hold them all.
• you make a romantic play list of only dmb songs.
• you have a dmb song to match each of your moods.
• you get pissed when somebody tells you they have no idea who dave matthews band is.
• when you just can't fathom how people could not love this band, and you try to get everyone you know as hooked as you are, despite what they listen to.
• you are a bigger dmb freak than the person who introduced dmb to you.
• you don't go out with a person because he/she says the band is trash coz its such a turn off!
• when you can honestly say you feel like dave's talking to you when he says "thank you very much" or "you all smell good this evening".
  

the list are so true. infact the whole complete list is true and we are proud to associate ourselves with all the other dmb freak on this planet. and as a dmb freak we are very much sadden with the sudden departure of leroi moore... dmb founding member and saxophone player that always manage to provide the most captivating sound that makes dmb... dmb. he passed away on the 19th august 2008, aged 46. the good always die young i guess...

and sharing the words of dave matthew, who always manage to find the simplest word to express the most profound and intense feeling...

"it's always easier to leave, than to be left..." rest in peace...

a smile of sweetest flowers
wilted so and soured
black tears stain the cheeks
that once were so admired
she thinks when she was small
there on her father's knee
how he had promised her
you'll always be my baby
daddy come quick
the dreaming tree has died

the loneliness of the long distance runner

i don't really think too much about the future nowadays... let alone try to understand it. hope? well... maybe but its more of wishful thinking i guess. thru my experience thinking and planning about the future can be fucking frustrating. i don't really ask from the "dude" nowadays... not that i'm trying to be cocky, but more of give him more space to listen to other poor souls. come on... he need his space as well rite.... now i just do what i have to do in this present moment and let it take its own shape. along the way i try to learn "again" about being patient if thing doesn't turn out good. and if that doesn't help i just pick on a poor soul and vent my anger at it or him with a lot of vulgarity. so far so good...

but yesterday was a challenge. i had a phone conversation with someone about some money that i'm suppose to get. it has been more than a year now. with due respect he has done all the work and deserve his portion but what pissed me off is that i have to tell him all my sorrow (which something that i've been trying not to think about) just to make him understand why he should at least give me some, if not all. he even have the cheek to say "well... what has happened is takdir dude... but i hope u can understand that i need to pay this... i need to pay that... the project is a losing money kind of project.. blah... blah... maybe i can pay your part if (and i mean "if") we get the balance after raya... like 3 months from now..." fuck!!! i have to wait again after more than a year? fucking hell no!! the money is not even for me and i have to beg for it. finally i have to except his so called promise that he will try to give me "some" when he get the payment from the other projects. and he has to tell me that just to show how understanding he has been. yeah.. rite... fuck you!!! i guess i have to succumb to the fact that i can't really do anything about it.

after that conversation i just look up to the sky and give the "dude" a peace of my mind.

on my way came up with the answers
i scratched my head
and the answers were gone
from hand to hand
wrist to the elbow
red blood sand
could dad be god
forgive you why
you hung me out to dry

it has been a very challenging journey... it has been tormenting... and it has been painful. to say that i've not been strong is understated... how much more do i have to endure for a bit of leeway...? this human heart can only take so much... so, just cut me some fucking slack here!!! i prefer not to go down that alley again just to ask for some understanding cos it actually make me fucking sad. its a peace of my life that i rather keep deep inside my modula oblongata and not to ever access it again.

time waits for no man some say... and that is so true. the world is not going to stop just to share your tears or anybody's sorrow for that matter. it will keep on spinning and everybody just go on with their normal life. thats the hard fucking truth. so, i sat there for a while... took a deep breath... walked up... and continue my work... at the end, my only option is to drag my already tired leg and move forward...

life goes on i guess....

this use to be my playground

beside an undisturbed moment in the loo and occasional nose picking, food always give us pleasure... and we're not talking about steak, pasta or some so called civilised food... but simple food like karipap sardin and kuih bangkit. yeah... im sure most of you out there agree with this. its the kind of food that take you to your childhood where everything is just fine... nothing to worry... life is just one big playground.

karipap sardin is definitely on top of the list when talking about soul food. i guess the combination of karipap (which is already an all time favourite) and sardin is just mind blowing. just imagine a home cooked karipap sardin with soft puff pastry and full of sambal sardin inside.. the beauty of a home made karipap sardin is that... it is full of sardin... not like the one you buy from the bazaar which is full of onion with tiny peaces of sardin... what a rip off... we had that for buka puase last monday. it really hit the spot. between the two of us.. we managed to wallop 15 peaces of karipap sardin... and we finish it in the shortest time you can imagine; while driving from bangsar to the curve... that is like what, less than half an hour. we are like de karipap sardin piranhas...

then there this thing called kuih bangkit. white in color, kind of hard on the outside but once u've bite it... it melts in your mouth... well at least that's how it suppose to be. we've been looking for a good kuih bangkit ever since... so far the one that we've got is kind of frustrating... back in the days, a fucking good kuih bangkit is abundence. can even get it in the kedai mamak beside the jeruk kelubi or jeruk betik or jeruk mangga... nowadays its a different case all together... we accidentally found a good one while we are at the curve. i guess becos its nearly raya. when we saw the makcik there, we know its gonna be good... and it does. after a bite it melts in your mouth with an excellent after taste... smoothly taking you to back to your childhood days when life is much more simpler than it is now... every peace seems to have a memory of its own... it was excellent...

and since picture says a thousand words... here it is....


in life whether we realise it or not, its the simplest thing that always bring us pleasure and never fails to put a smile on our face.... as much as we thought life experience has influence or changed us... we always look for the things that can take us back home, where we really feel happy and safe... and beside a good joint... soul food like these will always do the trick.... thank god for that...

hooker with a penis

it has been a while that we want to put this down but could find the time... well if you wanna be a dick about it, yeah... its not really the time but just fuckin lazy.. or maybe the subject that we wanna put down just too fuckin too much... in fact really too much to put in cos they are all over... and what we are talking about here? well... its the poser... man!!!! they are all over... and you find abundance of em especially in damansara's fraternity... you even call it the poser's save haven. some of the poser's categories (definitely not exhaustive) are as below:

1- so called artistic
you can easily recognize em. they normally spot on a large or big hair, afro, metal thingy poke at unnecessary places, with funny kind of fashion just to try and make a point and they are in the industry or maybe an artistic person. but the fuckin thing is that they probably listen to some stupid so called underground music and probably find band like green day, blink 182, beyonce, etc is amazing; and watch movies like fast & furious, school of music and adores dumb blond actors or actresses. what a loser....

2- so called drunk & stone gang
this kind always hang out at bars in a group at places just wanna be seen. ordered alcoholic drink like there is no tomorrow, wanting to get drunk to prove a point and just to show off to the world how alcoholic they are; smoke a few joints with friend using some stupid rizla papers and feeling like rock stars. all these just because the've somewhat seen in on tv or movie. big time losers...

3- so called technology or i.t savvy
usually with the latest gadgets, expensive notebook which is paid by their rich parents, hang out in in some coffee joint that provide free wifi... the word here is "free"... with earrings on both ears to complete the so called hacker's look, but the truth is that they are there just to do instant messaging with their friends. i.t is a technology dumb arse... not a fashion statement... use it, not abuse it..

well... this is just a few of em. trying to pose an image rather than actually living it... so our final message to all you posers...