halloween

i'm tired of being angry
i'm tired of all the anger
i'm tired of all the frustration
i'm tired of being unhappy
i'm tired of being a giver
i'm tired of being responsible
i'm tired of being broke
i'm tired of not able to buy things, even necessities
i'm tired of telling myself to be positive
i'm tired of this so called law of attraction
i'm tired of others keep telling me that i'm so negative
i'm tired of telling myself that there'll be light at the end of the tunnel
i'm tired of false glimpse of light
i'm tired of false hope
i'm tired of trying to understand god's wisdom
i'm tired of all these so called god's tests
i'm tired of staring at happiness but unable to have it
i'm tired of smoking
i'm tired of drinking
i'm tired of getting myself drunk
i'm tired of dragging my legs
i'm tired of being scared
i'm tired of being brave
i'm tired of being strong
i'm tired of having to tell myself that i'm strong
i'm tired of being weak
i'm tired of wondering
i'm tired of floating
i'm tired of searching
i'm tired of looking for a home
i'm tired of being homeless
i'm tired of being lonely
i'm tired of not able to smoke weed
i'm tired of waiting for the weed to be available
i'm tired of not able to really share my "moment"
i'm tired of the surrounding that finds it hard to understand me
i'm tired of trying to make my surrounding understands me
i'm tired of not able to "put" myself to sleep
i'm tired of not able to have deep sleep
i'm tired of waking up and not able to go back to sleep
i'm tired of asking
i'm tired of begging
i'm tired of making mistakes
i'm tired of taking risks
i'm tired of being abnormal
i'm tired of being eccentric
i'm tired of believing that there's someone out there for me
i'm tired of believing that there's someone out there that can understand me
i'm tired of believing that there's someone out the that will appreciate me
i'm tired of crying alone
i'm tired of crying in the dark
i'm tired of crying in the rain
i'm tired of the sudden burst of extreme sadness
i'm tired of all the pain
i'm tired of all these sadness
i'm tired of having to tell myself that life is not that bad
i'm tired of having to tell myself that life is good
i'm tired of looking for answers
i'm tired of waiting for answers
i'm tired of all the answers
i'm tired of all the meaningless answers
i'm tired of asking questions
i'm tired of waiting for things to happen
i'm tired of believing in fate or takdir
i'm tired of explaining myself
i'm tired of being stupid
i'm tired of being smart
i'm tired of looking for love
i'm tired of searching for love
i'm tired of asking for love
i'm tired of begging for love
i'm tired of hoping for love
i'm tired of moral cops
i'm tired of all the so called morally correct decision
i'm tired of trying to convince others that i'm not that bad
i'm tired of trying to convince others that i'm worth it
i'm tired of trying to convince others that i'm worth the efforts
i'm tired of trying to convince others that i'm worth the risks
i'm tired of giving my shoulders for others to cry on
i'm tired of waiting for a shoulder to cry on
i'm tired of hoping for a shoulder to cry on
i'm tired of pretending that things are ok
i'm tired of pretending that things will be ok
i'm tired of others who pretend that they understand me
i'm tired of others who keep telling me that they can feel me
i'm tired of all the fear
i'm tired of asking for a bit of laughter
i'm tired of begging for a bit of laughter
i'm tired of hoping for a bit of laughter
i'm tired of fucking for fucking sake
i'm tired of the fickle, fuddled words
i'm tired of all the confusion
i'm tired of waiting for someone to hold
i'm tired of waiting for someone that will hold me
i'm tired of searching for someone to hold
i'm tired of searching for someone that will hold me
i'm tired of waiting for someone to hold and tell me things will be ok
i'm tired of searching for someone to hold and tell me life will be good
i'm tired of always having to look inside
i'm tired of having to always accept that it is my fault
i'm tired of saying sorry
i'm tired of apologizing
i'm tired of feeling guilty
i'm tired of self sacrifice
i'm tired of doing favors
i'm tired of asking for favors
i'm tired of pondering my future
i'm tired of hoping that someone will be able to open their mind to me
i'm tired of the barren look in my eyes
i'm tired of the endless emptiness
i'm tired of feeling hollow
i'm tired of trying to reach out
i'm tired of accepting but not accepted
i'm tired of not able to be me
i'm tired of others who need to "think" whether they can accept me
i'm tired of understanding others rational
i'm tired of justification
i'm tired of explanation
i'm tired of all the senseless talking
i'm tired of the cocky attitude
i'm tired of the self centered way of thinking
i'm tired of the "holier than thou" mind set
i'm tired of the false truth
i'm tired of the so called "good" deed
i'm tired of trying to figure out what is wrong and what is right
i'm tired of always having to make a come back
i'm tired of hiding
i'm tired of tired of running
i'm tired of waiting to be saved
i'm tired of trying to save myself
i'm tired of trying
i'm tired of filling myself with false hope
i'm tired of dreaming
i'm tired of having dreams
i'm tired of having nightmares
i'm tired of staring at emptiness
i'm tired of telling myself that i need to focus
i'm tired of pushing myself
i'm tired of being insane
i'm tired of being sane
i'm tired of just going with the flow
i'm tired of trying to take charge of my life
i'm tired of believing that i'm in charge of my life
i'm tired of feeling that i'm not in charge of my life
i'm tired of asking for some slack
i'm tired of looking for some space
i'm tired of hoping
i'm tired of hoping for hope
i'm tired of my tired eyes
i'm tired of my tired mind
i'm tired of being tired

i'm just fucking tired!!!

and i don't want the world to see me
cause i don't think that they'd understand
when everything's made to be broken
i just want you to know who i am

and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
or the moment of truth in your lies
when everything feels like the movie
yeah.. you bleed just to know you're alive


maybe someday you will know who i am...