i've always drifted away from the so called "straight" line of life where all good moral human said i should be. to say that i manage quite ok with that is really an understatement, cos i suck big time at it.. then again i justified to myself by saying.. well.. at least im still aware about god and understand what is required of me... it actually work most of the time, but as time, age & conscious get the better of me i'm beginning to feel uneasy... but then again.. what am i looking for in life? what would make me realise there are bigger things to focus and can keep you on the "straight" line? hhhhmmm......
if life is ever like a football game, i'm definately at the half time period now. trashed badly in the first half, cuts and bruises all over.. tired.. aimless... to win this game i better be prepared for the second half. i better know what i want and how to get it. i need to focus. i need a reason to do it and i really need to huge reason to be able to push me through. i need a "godly" goal to reach and and i need a "godly" reason to get me there... wow... is there ever be such thing?
what is the different between justification and selfishness? does having a good justification and big as "godly" thing mean your a still being selfish? but then again.. where do you draw the line?
god... i've found my reason.. i've found my goal... i've found my love... i've found someone to be with and push this through... i've found the path to be close to you... but if its gonna hurt a few innocent souls shoud i just go with it? is it ok to see suffering just to achieve the "godly" goal? am i being selfish or i'm suppose to say fuck it.. im doin it..?
my god... my father.. for all the sins i've done.. for all the suffering i've caused... please look deep inside my heart and find some goodness in me and accept me back in your arms... help me please..
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3 comments:
God never neglect you. He has sent you and Angel...and he did
yeah.. i wonder where is that "Angel" now?
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